A note about crying:
Crying serves many purposes in life. For babies, it can mean "I need help..., a diaper change..., I'm hungry...", to "I need to blow off some steam!".
Crying serves two purposes:
1. Communication
2. Release tension or stress
Listening to the unique cries of your baby will help you determine how you are going to respond to your baby. It is NOT recommended for you to attempt to repress your baby's crying. If baby is crying because he or she is hungry, feed the baby, however if you have offered the breast or bottle several times and your baby is still not content, your baby may need to cry to release frustration or stress. I do recommend that you gently and lovingly HOLD your baby while they cry. It can be helpful for you to be available to them for eye contact. Crying to release tension can be a natural healing mechanism for your baby. Many babies need to cry about a difficult delivery or rough handling or just because they are getting used to life outside of the womb.
4 types of cries that require immediate response or some type of change:
1. Hunger cry. This is typically repetitive and the baby will alternate between crying and rooting around, searching for something to suck on. It has probably been 2 or more hours since the last feeding.
2. Wet or soiled diaper cry. This cry sounds like baby is talking and they squirm around a little more than usual. Check diaper and change if necessary.
3. Pain cry. This cry typically comes on strong and may get higher in pitch and rate. Baby will probably be crying with their eyes closed. Check to be sure baby is not laying on something.
4. Alone cry. This sometimes sounds like a questioning cry, it is not as loud as hunger or pain cry. Baby may look around a little while they are crying. Babies have a small space where they sense people near them. Stay close to your baby so they can sense / feel your presence.
Otherwise, crying can be helpful, especially during tummy time. It can be quite frustrating for a baby to learn to push up with their arms and learn to control their bodies. Allow your baby to express frustration. Experiencing tummy time is the path to development for babies. Speak soothingly to your baby. Reassure your baby you are near and you love them for all their effort and determination! I do NOT recommend letting your baby cry when they are alone. Please understand that your baby needs your peacefulness and gentle reassuring love to work through some of their troubles.
Listening to our babies cry can bring up strong feelings in us. These feelings can range from powerlessness, helplessness, anxiety, grief and even anger. Babies do not misbehave or do things to annoy us. They do things to get a need met. It is recommended to meet your baby's need for unconditional love by providing gentle, caring touch / holding and deal with our strong emotions or reactions to our baby's cries with a friend, a spouse or even a therapist or counselor.
Some examples of ways to calm your baby:
- Be calm yourself (take a deep breath, relax any tense muscles, etc.)
- Gently and slowly swing side to side or up and down
- Offer something for baby to suck on (pacifier, empty breast, your clean finger
- Gentle pats on the back or bottom
- Sing in quiet soothing voice
- Sit down and hold your baby gently while they cry. Often this will help your baby sleep for a longer period of time, as they have released many emotions.
- Swaddling with a blanket. This keeps baby's arms and legs close to their body and prevents startling or jerkiness secondary to sudden movements.